i'm feeling weird today... i'm learning that the greiving/loss process is different for every one... some people channel their energies toward improving themselves and becoming better individuals. they take the experience for what it was, and move past the badtimes and look at the good times only... thats my preferred route...

some people analyze, over analyze and destroy the memory of what they've lost. throw blame and never acknowledge the role they played in the loss.

well im on the receiving end of the latter... what can do... feelings are valid on both sides but i'm still getting blamed and accused of so much. my effort s being called into question... and i'm trying to let it just cool, and give those comments their validity. i have but doesnt mean i dont want to defend myself. that damn fatal flaw... but i think i'm handling it well.... or trying to at least....