Open convo's

The new Ipod came out yesterday... ok now I'm ready to make a purchase. It's worth it now... gotta cop that PSP, looked into getting an Ibook ($1600, but its worth it) and the Treo 650 or the 700w... I have become a gadget geek like my Media Junkie cousin...

I've been growing myself for the last couple weeks (if that makes sense). Been in self-feflection mode, maybe more like change mode... Getting rid of old hurts and pains... Being more honest with my feelings.

When I feel it say it is my new change. Called my Big Sis Lay and said i love you the other morning. I know she knows that I love her, but I couldn't remember if I had ever said it to her before. So I called and said it. She said "Awwwwwe Grasshopper, you must have known I needed that this morning" So it does make a difference when you say certain things...

I spoke to my best friend/cousin last night told her she started to suck at being a friend and that the only connection I felt that we had was a familial one. Told her I thought she was jaded and cut everybody off as to not feel anything anymore. The person she is now isnt my friend, and I dont know who she is anymore. Told her that she does hurt my feelings. She said its not purposefully (any of it) it just is, maybe she'll open back up, maybe not. and sometimes I just have to not take everything so personally, cause she's like this with everyone. and that she doesnt have a best friend, she shares different parts of herself with different people. that kinda stung a bit. but i know why she doesnt have a best friend. nothing toward me, just some "stuff".
But she said she will think on it. Like I said I just want my friend back.

back to Iyanla:

pg. 146

" Marianne Williamson, author of the book A Return to Love, wrote " Love is giving without remembering. Receiving without forgetting." This does not mean that you allow people to do what they want in your life or to you. It simply means that you live each day as an experience of sharing, with no hiddne agendas or expectations of a return on your investment. love requires an honest sharing of time, space, resources, and life for the sheer pleasure of it, while it is pleasurable. This level of conscious, unconditional love will reap many rewards in immeasurable ways.... Letting go, which is a form of housecleaning, does not mean you stop loving. It means that you make a conscious choice about how to love, which can include loving someone from a distance."