My favorite reality show is back.... American Idol... well I only like the beginning phases though. People really have delusional thoughts about their abilities, and the people who tell them they are good are even more delusional. I literally cry laughing every year....

NeXt---->

Journeyman,

I cried this weekend
realized the greatest lie I ever told myself was
I was ready to be in love
I am more scared of being in love than I am of dying
Love is a beautiful thing
I've loved my share of beautiful men
Been loved by a few
Been in love with the same man since I was six
He just doesn't know it
Is it selfish to keep that love hidden from him
Personally I'm on the fence
I'm scared he'll love me the same way
scared he'll want to be with me forever
and I'm afraid to tell him for that reason
I loved you, I love you still, just not the same way
I thought I could fall in love with you
and be ok with your fragility
but I wasn't, do know that I can, don't know if I'm willing
my fragility may not allow for it
I tried to wrap my head around the idea
but couldn't
square peg round slot syndrome
me being with one person for life
is a lesson in selflessness I want to learn
but learning the lesson, may cause my death
maybe the other love's mother was right
I am a free spirit
being tied by a metal ring on my 4th finger
may weigh me down, prevent my flight
I am scared to love one, only one
but I am scared to be by myself too...