"It's funny what you can say in front of a group of people, that you can't seem to say in front of one person"

That was a line from the movie Love Jones... So true!

Last night/this morning at an ungodly hour, I watched the Oprah show.... There was a woman on there that was hiding a secret from her husband. They seemed to be living the life most people strive for, house, nice cars, minimal debt from student loans etc. The husband thought that they had a combined debt of about $40,000. But the woman confessed to her husband that she alone had $160,000 in debt. She claimed it was mainly from her student loans and other loans she took out to maintain while in school, credit card/charge card debt, and interest rates that were outrageous... When I heard the number she said I sat up in the bed and said "Damn!" That to me is CRAZY! How in the hell did you let it get that high and that far? I'd probably die from worry if I had that kind of debt. I wouldn't know up from down! I was even more confused as to why she thought coming on national TV would lower her husbands reaction to the news? He was visibly shaken and upset.

People come on these TV shows confessing everything in their closets thinking that the person they are telling wont get as mad, or wont be as hurt. I think its stupid to put all ur business out there like that. Handle that at home. If he wants to leave you, he'll leave whether he was on Oprah or not. Working it out after is harder because now the whole world is up in your business. If you thought you had nosy neighbors before that, try over a hundred countries worth of people in your pockets now.....


next...

I've been listening to a few of my friends and loved ones make this comment "What about me? What about my feelings?" What about you and your feelings!?!

If I could smack every person that has said that to me, I would, including smacking myself. Yeah I've done it, refuse to do it anymore. I feel like I would be begging for someone's affection and love. Your feelings are valid. I would in no way try to erase the validity of them. But sometimes when you feel yourself about to utter those words, step back and see why the hell you are begging? They aren't begging you for your love/affection? Why should you? They could be God's greatest achievement as far as love making goes, but that doesn't guarantee they will love you right... Because you connect sexually doesn't mean you connect in a relationship. Stop crying about it too! Tears don't make it better. I swear if you cry it wont make him/her come back and do and be better for you. I know it sounds like I'm being insensitive, but I'm really not. WTF are you crying for, because you're hurt? Use the energy your hurt brings to move yourself further in your life, use it as a catalyst to look for better in yourself and others. Before I would have been the one to cry about it, but I've learned that tears are good the first time you feel the hurt. Let it out, feel the burn, and be done with it. Any tears after the initial sting are tears of whining, tears of defeat, tears of someone who uses tears to prove they are still hurt, and a waste of time and energy. After you scraped your knee as a child you didn't cry everytime you looked or thought about your knee, did you? I didn't think so.... Same applies here....

I have a friend that was in a relationship with a guy, she broke up with him because she felt like he wasn't getting his shit together fast enough. It's now two/almost three years later, and she wants him back bad! But he's not willing to go there all the way again. Doesn't feel like she a "ride or die chick", he feels like she's a fairweather chick. He said he can't stay where he's only wanted when he has, money a car, an apt, and more energy than a lil bit. He needs to be wanted when he's broke, living with his momma, hitching rides, and exhausted as hell too. I agree, with him whole-heartedly!

You don't need someone in your life who is only happy when they are the focus. When they aren't number one, when they aren't the only one you're spending time with, the only one you're doing stuff for, yeah that's when you become the bad guy; the person that has issues in a relationship, the only one who needs to do more and be more... crock of shit in my book...

I've been there and done that (over it). Now I'm watching other people go through it, and I just want to find them psychologist! Figure out why their dependancy issues are controlling how and who they love. It's sad, to say the least! But you can't show people their shit and expect them to be ok with it initially. Maybe they'll learn on their own or someone else will point it out, or more than enough people point it out for them to see its an issue... Maybe not...Maybe we arent all wrong... Maybe you need to take a good look at what you're doing to contribute to the behavior.... People only treat you, the way you allow them to... If you've proven not to be worthy of the love they have, maybe that's why you are where you are, hopelessly in love with someone who doesn't love you remotely as much...Just my thoughts...