Recap of the Holidays...

Got back to NY around 2am, got to my house around 3:30am... and now I 'm here at my desk again... barely awake, hardly working...and plan to stay that way for the entire day... IONT care....

The holidays were fun, festive, and soul fulfulling... I spent time with my brother and his wife, my parents and my sister. We always act a damn fool together, this trip was no disappointment...

I hung out with my extended family... One thing my brother and I noticed was all of our extended family(friends/church folk), are all married and breeding... Like it was weird, cause if you didn't have a ring, you had a baby instead, or both... had people questioning us like why wasn't I married yet and why my bro didn't have kids yet. We were both like "Huh, for what!?" The one question that I answered like a hundred times was where was my boyfriend. My mother didn't tell anyone that he and I broke up, when they would ask about he and I, she would tell them to ask me. So I had to tell the news to everyone damn near individually. Saturday night I hung out with all the married and knocked up peoples... and someone made the joke "Ha this could be you" to which I said "I like my freedom a little too much right now" as they were wiping baby butts and putting kids on time out and giving their husbands the evil eye.

One of my homegirls got engaged... I was actually elated to hear it... kinda knew it would happen... they are shackin up, it was only right to make it semi legit... he got her a non traditional ring, which also didn't surprise me. He's that kind of guy. He got her a four/five stone inlay set. No raised stone. It's a really nice ring. And I'm happy for them both. They both deserve each other. Their history in love prior to one another was schetchy. But who knew that the two of them would end up together, and who knew that they would fit so well....

Congrats Biggie Smalls and Underdog!!!

I told my mom and now she's like, "Don't you feel left out of the club?"

Yes and No... But I want it to be right so bad, I'm willing to wait...


One thing was missing from my holiday though... he called while I was in the shower Saturday morning... and left a generic message... one song replays in my head though....

Feelings by Floetry

I’m emotional,
You’re emotional,
Could be why we always argue our…
Conversations short,
We cant open up,
It’s just become,
Much too difficult,
I don’t know what to do,
Don’t know what to prove.
This is more than me,
So much more than you.
Can we make it through?
You and I.
I can’t decide.

I just can’t decide,
If it’s you I want,
Don’t wanna choose between,
Having you in my life,
Or loosing you for real.

Because I caught feelings.(Feelings)
Are we falling in love with our fears?
I caught feelings.(Feelings)
‘Cause we’re acting like we’re really here,
we’re not really here.Caught feelings.
(Feelings)I’m not afraid of the pain.

I’m a stubborn girl,
You’re a stubborn guy,
Could be why,
We fight all the time.
If it’s not your way,
Then it must be mine.
Can’t communicate,
Can’t even compromise.
I don’t know what to do,
I don’t know what to prove.
This is more than me,
So much more than you.
Can we make it through?
You and I,
I can’t decide

Because I caught feelings.(Feelings)
I know how you feel.
I caught feelings.(Feelings)
It’s almost unreal.
Because I caught feelings(Feelings)
You’re short of breath.
It’s like you’ve been wounded.

I must look like an enemy to you.
It’s cool.
We have to die a little bit you know.
We’re so dramatic.
Romantic.
I love experiencing you.
The ups and the downs

I just can’t pretend,
That you’re just a friend,
We took it further.
Passion still remains.
So here we are again,

Because we caught feelings.(Feelings)
I feel you.
Because we caught feelings.(Feelings)
I’m connected to you.
We caught feelings.(Feelings)
So what do you wanna do?
Because we caught feelings(Feelings)
What do you wanna do?
We can help each other.
I can't believe we're here
After all we've been through...


Too bad there is no fixing us, him, me... it is what it is