New Year, New Air, New Goals, New Life, New Love (maybe)

I brought in the New Year laying in my bed, watched the ball drop, said a prayer, turned off the TV, and went to sleep!

2006...

Well guess New's Years resolutions are on the horizon... I have a few...

1. Letting go... this means really letting go, no more holding onto the little things so I don't feel a complete loss. This meant changing people's names in my phonebook on my cell. I can no longer refer to you by nicknames or pet names, you no longer belong to me, so the name doesn't either. I wont call you, if you dont call me, letting go of having to be the only holding onto a relationship, friendship or otherwise. Letting go of the pains and disappointments of the past year...

2. I am going to be more outgoing. Become the social butterfly I was meant to be! LMAO... I know this will be a challenge. I am sooooooooooooooooooo shy and reserved in a big social setting. I like intimate convo's and one-on-one sessions. So I'm breaking out of that and allowing myself to be open and receptive to going out more. $ has always been in issue with that, but I found out today I'm getting a big raise, so that wont be an issue any longer... So I'll have the means to go out more. Go to lounges and poetry spots and hang out. By myself, can't really find to many people to go with me. So I'm going alone, and I'm cool with that for the first time...

3. To stay in touch with family more. Got some bad news over the weekend. My tantie (extended family, like an aunt but not by blood) got diagnosed with brain cancer In October, and is undergoing radiation treatment 5days a week. They removed 80% of the tumor, now they are shrinking the rest with steroids and radiation. Every medication they have her on has a side effect, and the meds for the side effects have side effects. She now has medication induced diabetes. Takes 4 insulin shots a day. She is half the woman she used to be, really thin. She was a pleasantly plump woman before, seeing like that made me want to cry, but I didn't let myself, not in front of her...

4. Go back to my gym routine. I was sick for a while had an excuse, I'm better now. No more excuses!!!!


That's all I have for now....