Good Times...

This weekend was great! I had so much fun... I decided to just let go of all the crap that I had been holding onto. Let go of the hurt, the pain, the insecurities, and I was able to be me, the real me without question or back lash. It was invigorating, enlightning, it was fresh, it was new, it was ME!!!!!!! Finally no more holding me back... I hung out with two of my closest friends and it was cool! The convo's were more in depth and easier to have because I could speak without editing the words in my head first. So, I feel great this morning. At ease.

I realized this weekend to that love comes in all forms shapes and sizes when you need it. It can be romantic or plutonic love, but love non the less. When the two combine, that's something to hold on to, something to build on. I'm not saying we all get it that way, but sometimes it comes and we dont know its there. And reveals itself as such, when the time is right. But the trick is not to rush it. Not to move too fast or think that you don't have to work to keep it.

With the last realtionship I had, that's exacrtly what we did. Some of it unconsciously, but we did it. And now we aren't a we, he and I are friends sorta-kinda- in a way. Once the relationship was gone we only had a shell of a friendship. How it will right itself I don't know, I don't know that it can. He and I have two different outlooks on how it should work. So we may never get on the same page... time will tell...

But this weekend I saw what it looked like for myself. What love in allaspects could feel like. And I want it. Like I want it today. But I know it takes time and work, and effort. And I'm on a road to gaining it. Completely and wholly.