Get it Together

Another day another decision made for me without regards to my feelings, my needs, me in general.

I told my sometimish pseudo best friend that I'm in a transitional stage in my life. Only for her to tell me that it was all wrong. I told her that I missed our friendship, she said it is what it is. She'd rather focus her energies into her man than into our friendship. And that if we were really friends i'd be there phone calls or not, hanging out or not. She'd call when she could... She said she felt like being able to hold your emotions in and not cry and not feel was progression. I beg to differ. It's regression in my book. Some people deal with pain and rejection differently, she chose not to feel anything after hers. " Everyone leaves, everyone has an agenda" So I'm left scrambling again. No one person I can depend on. And she said its called self reliance, I should only depend on myself, period. I'm still swallowing the whole convo, keep choking on the lump in my throat.

I prayed for her last night, a detailed prayer. Asked that she be healed from the pain of love and the pain she's been swallowing for so long. And for to allow herself to feel and be ok with feeling it. To be more than she is, to ask for mor than she's accepting. I asked God to give me my friend back. I left it in His hands...


...

"Get It Together"
One shot to your heart without breaking your skin
No one has the power to hurt you like your kin
Kept it inside, didn't tell no one else
Didn't even wanna admit it to yourself
And now your chest burns and your back aches
From 15 years of holding the pain
And now you only have yourself to blame
If you continue to live this way

Get it together
You wanna heal your body
You have to heal your heart
Whatsoever you sow you will reap
Get it together
You can fly fly


Dark future ahead of me
That's what they say
I'd be starving if I ate all the lies they fed
Cause I've been redeemed from your anguish and pain
A miracle child
I'm floating on a cloud
Cause the words that come from your mouth
You're the first to hearS
peak words of beauty and you will be there
No matter what anybody says
What matters most is what you think of yourself

The choice is yours
No matter what it is
To choose life is to choose to forgive
You don't have to try
To hurt him and break his pride
To shake that weight off
And you will be ready to fly

One shot to your heart without breaking your skin
No one has the power to hurt you like your friends
Thought it will never change but this time moved on
An ugly duckling grew up to be a swan
And now your chest burns and your back aches
Because now the years are showing up on your face
But you're never be happy
And you'll never be whole
Until you see the beauty in growing old

Get it together
You wanna heal your body
You have to heal your heart
Whatsoever you sow you will reap
Get it together
You can fly fly...

Gotta Get It Together Self...