Just my thoughts...

A few months ago I started a new behavior in my life: when I feel it, say it... It has been working for me for the most part, its alot easier on my mind and spirit by allowing me to be free to say how I feel. It relieves the pain of withholding emotions from people, especially whenI'm the only one who suffers...

I feel like I can scream certain emotions from the mountain top. There are people i want to call everyday to say "I Love you" to. I want people to know my love, to feel my love, daily. I try to be love in all areas of my life. I expel anger and hate from my body daily. I refuse to let those emotions dictate how I live my life, and to dictate how others see me.

Friday I had funky couple of hours. Had been rolling my eyes at people and just being onery, for no good reason. Yeah I could blame it on PMS (first time in years I've had it) my attitude changed like a pendulum, and I knew it. I called my mom and told her I was being funky. First thing she asked "What did you do?", I laughed and told her about rolling my eyes ans such. We made small talk and she was talking about me to her co-workers,a bout how grown I think I am living in NYC (she was acting all proud to have an independent child). Then as she was talking "Purple Rain" started playing on my computer. Why did my mom start singing it? Came in right on cue and mimicked him so well... it was hilarious. Changed my mood for the day... and I thank her for it...

Next Subject

Why are people so scared of love? or rather Why are people so scared to be loved the right way?

When love comes into our lives, we recognize it, but so many of us shrink away from it. We've seen this before, been here before, felt this before so we're on guard waiting for the other shoe to drop. Why? Each of us yearns to be loved, and when it come to us in its purest form we find ourselves in disbelief. We start to plan for the failure instead of just living in the moment. Just feel the love tingle, just be there experiencing it with the one you love. Tomorrow will come, but in that moment just live each second each minute to the fullest. Love is patient, kind, and every other good word in our vocabulary, so why fear it. We should all want to have something so good in our lives.

I know I fear love, being loved the right way is a scary thing. To hear someone say it, and know that it is pure and it is deep, is scary as hell to hear and to feel. It brings up past love experiences that failed and your heart is weary and leary of going to that place again. But I have put it in my mind that I will not allow my fear to keep me from loving and being loved. It it fails, it fails. I learned how to love better from it.

Next Subject

Actually there is no next subject... Love is the only subject my friend.

"I want a love
that is beautifully ridiculous" (THEHOPEFUL)

So do I...