my thoughts....

I went to go see the movie “Crash” Friday night. That movie was excellent in my book! It took like six different story lines and showed how we all are connected to a point. Everything you do affects someone else, regardless of if you see that affect or not. It was a powerful film in its entirety. It played host to peoples ignorance and the little lies and prejudices we all have but fail to admit. I’d recommend this film to everyone.

I’ve had a subject on my mind for like the last year and change… I try to understand, I try to look at it indifferently, but it’s hard. Are there so many black men being jailed and murdered that it is ok for females to turn on themselves and become the pursuers of each other? Lesbianism is the new epidemic in the black community. I see the women; well its more high school aged young ladies that are the newest recruits. A few months ago I was getting on the train @ Union Square and I saw what looked like a gang of females groping, kissing, and basically humping each other on the platform. It had be at least 10 couples, all female. I just felt my heart drop, and tears well up in my eyes. These girls weren’t even old enough to drive, and to think for themselves, but them deemed themselves old enough to sleep with another person, whether it be male of female? I couldn’t understand how and why it was ok.

Now I am not a gay basher or a homophobic. I have friends that have chosen that lifestyle. And we have one rule; don’t bring that shit to me. And our friendship is cool.

I have friend that I’ve known since I was like six that is as she claims a bi-sexual. I didn’t know until we were in college and I saw the gay pride flag on her wall in her room. I was so naive I had to ask what it meant. It was on the wall with the African American flag, and a Rasta flag. I knew what they were, but the multi colored flag was a mystery. So I asked and she laughed and said “ you really don’t know do you?” I said no. She explained to me that she didn’t know how to tell me that she always assumed I just knew. Which she learned I really didn’t know, had no clue. I just assumed she dressed like a guy because she was the only female in her family. Her mom and two aunts were the only women she had every really been around, so she did what she knew how, which was to be like her brothers. I didn’t know. And when she told me that I told her that she wasn’t going to be able to straddle the fence for long. One day she was going to have to choose a man or a woman. This was like four years ago. And from what I hear she has a boyfriend and they’ve been together for like two years.

This morning I had a female couple standing next to me. I tried to mind my biz, and do me, but they started becoming overly touchy feely, and the butch one kept looking at me. I was trying to hold my peace, and I had to turn and give her the screw face. Some of these young ladies are so beautiful, but you can see in their eyes that they don’t think so. Like they feel somebody is going to love them whether it has a penis or a vagina. So they settle for the latter just to say that they do have someone to love them. They are getting younger and younger, and in some instances raunchier. Some of them I believe want to be so different and prove their individuality that they choose a lifestyle that is deemed alternative and in some instances and opinions deviant. So they do it to the max, extra baggy clothes, fades and tats and everything else that will allow them to look the part of a man, act the part of a man.

I just pray that a day will come when the self-esteem issues that these females have will be addressed and dealt with. I hope one day that the lack of fathers and brother uncles and cousins to esteem these young ladies will cease. She needs to be told she is beautiful, she is strong, and she is worthy, told simply that she is! So these young ladies don’t have to take on the role of father, brother, cousin, uncle because of a lack there of.

I personally blame the men and women for all this nonsense. We are living in a “down-low” era. This subject is hot topic and has been for a while. One the book “ down-Low” came out, more and more brothers came out. More and more men decided to final own up to their homosexual relationships. And it has been a means for AIDS to enter the community at alarming rates. I was watching America’s Black Forum, and it was the topic this weekend. Two of the commentators, women, were saying that the down-low lifestyle has damaged women’s mindset about the men they are involved with. They were saying that it makes women scared of commitment, it makes them turn on each other and the number of lesbians has risen more than 200% in the last 5yrs. in the black community. The other commentator was a man who wrote a book entitled “ Beyond the Down-Low”. He claims that has been a problem way before either book came out. It was the secret that blacks never wanted to tell. But that now that the homosexual lifestyle should be accepted to avoid men from having to sleep around in an unsafe manner.

Ok while I don’t agree with the lifestyle, I say if what you do and whom you do are wrong, you’ll find out when judgment comes.