In a few weeks I will be face to face with all of my high school friends. A eally good friend of mine is getting married and the they will all be there...I haven't really seen anyone, cause I stopped looking for anyone the day after graduation... so true... we graduated and that chapter of my life was closed. I did catch up with a few people in 2001, after the death of one of my friends. And we all know a funeral is not the place to catch up with people. But nothing really since then.I think about some of them from time to time, I wonder who they are now, who they are trying to be, and who they still are. I know I am avery different. High school was so high school to me, ya dig. I was over the dramas wy before everybody else.

I was so ready to jump into my real life, that I ditched them... guess I can make amends with some, "hug it out" with them, and act like 8 years haven't passed...

There is one person in particular that i want to see... she and i were inseparable in high school. It took one semester of college to tear us apart. She did somethings that were way out of line. She accused me of outting her on them, but I didn't. And we haven't spoken since. I've seen her a few times, asked about her to mutual friends, said a prayer when she had her son, and now we are weeks from coming face to face. I hope enough time has past that we can come to a place of cordialities...

Breathing While BlackBy Christopher Rabb
Republished courtesy of The Nation(Originally web published on December 2, 2006)

There is nothing like being made to feel like a nigger. Just having to verbalize it or commit such a thought to text is gut-wrenching. Janitor or journalist, if you’re black in America, that feeling is both unmistakable and more familiar than it ever should be so long after the the visible successes of the civil rights movement.

But despite the greater prospects, opportunities and privileges earned for and by many of us over the decades, the default has remained the same: The power dynamics that exist in this country at any given time may render us niggers.

I have often joked that if you ever want to see a modern-day Uncle Tom, look no further than me in the vicinity of a white police officer. The reality is, that is how I have been conditioned to behave around the police for pure self-preservation reasons, having grown up black in Chicago with parents who wanted their boys to live to adulthood. But the other reality is that whatever newfound liberties I have experienced, and all too often have taken for granted, I don’t ever want to be made to feel like a nigger–something far, far worse than its utterance. It is a status whose roots form the tree from which we are lynched. Without the corollary lack of humanity and powerlessness, lynching could not occur, in all of its modern iterations, ” contagious shootings” included.

Oprah today...

Before the news reports about the VT tragedy interrupted Oprah's show today, she actually had a great forum discussing the whole Don Imus racial back lash issue...

"After Imus…now what? Where do we go from here? Is there a double standard in this country? A conversation we all need to have right now. Join us for an Oprah Show town hall.."

Tomorrow is contiuing coverage of the topics at hand... her guests include India Arie, russell Simmons, and Common... more from me on this tomorrow as well...

My God... again...

Timeline of Virginia Tech shooting rampage

Gunman, described as an Asian male in his 20's, opened fire in dorm, then unleashed barrage in second building before dying, by a self inflicted shot.
•
7:15 a.m.: Gunfire reported
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9:15 a.m.: Second onslaught
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9:26 a.m.: E-mail warning
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9:50 a.m.: 'A gunman is loose'
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10:15 a.m.: Banging heard
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10:16 a.m.: Another alert
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10:52 a.m.:'Multiple victims'
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Noon: Partial evacuation
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12:15 p.m.: 'Monumental' tragedy

At least 33 dead in rampage at Virginia college
15 other people wounded in worst mass shooting in U.S. history

The "N" word...

There has been so much happening since I've had my baby... just haven't had the time to write anything down... but tonight I wil discuss one topic that has been discussed b myself and a friend of mine via his blog entry...

"...Nigga what!!!? I don't understand this issue. As a black, educated, professional man, I reject the idea that we as black folks should "banish" the so-called "N" word. I mean, banish the word to what end? What would not saying "Nigga" really change? Will we feel better about ourselves as people? Will there be a collective sigh of relief by the Black masses because "no one is calling us nigga anymore?" No. I don't think so..."

Besides, as a people, I think we have bigger fish to fry than this. Can really afford to use what little political capital we have in our community on an issue so small? We need to focus our attention on more tangible and meaningful discourses than name calling. Maybe we should be using the spotlight to talk about improving our money management skills as a people instead admonishing the Black masses to "stop calling each other names."

I mean, it just seems a little sophmoric to be worried about the name we call each other, when we have so many other issues to address like: education, family structure, health and dietary needs, political power and economic independence. Later for what you wanna be called!!! We all said the same saying in elementary school "sticks and stones may break my bones, but names can never hurt me." It is precisely these kinds of distractions that keep us from truly seeing the bigger picture.

The so-called "N" word has no bearing on our fight for liberation and freedom. None. And the vast energies we are putting into trying to get rid of the word are badly needed in other areas of our fight! So what if a Black person calls u a nigga!!! You know they aren't calling you "ignorant." We all know that's not what is trying to be communicated.

Some say, "Well, if you say it, then white folks will feel empowered to say it, too." I don't buy that. For centuries, white folks in America have businesses, busses, restrooms, water fountains, swimming pools, restaurants, movie theaters and more that we as Black people weren't allowed to enjoy. I think we're entitled to at least keep a word to ourselves!

It is our tradition as a people to take bad situations and make something good out of it. From the blues to soul food, our people have taken the bad that we've been given and turned it around into something comforting and positive. Such is the so-called N-word in my book. "-jb

My response:

"While I understand where you are coming from, I used to be on the fence with the issue, but I'm going to say I agree with your friend... at least to a point...There is obviously no way on earth we are going to ever have that word banished. Hell, it's in the dictionary. it was only a few years ago they were trying to have it removed from the dictionary. That word is history, a part of history, it'd engrained in the psyche of all American people.

People will always use it, whether as a term of endearment or in a historical context.

For me, I've tried to remove it for my vocabulary all together. There are plenty of ways to address someone... even in joking I use other words... I know this will be a dividing line among African Americans for all time. Some see us using the word as empowering, some still haven't taken the sting out of the stigma of the word...

Lastly, the word can't hurt you, if you know who you are..."

With the latest backlash from Don Imus' use of the term "nappy-headed ho's"... many African-Americans are calling for all people especially those in the hip-hop community to discontinue the use of the "n" word... I didn't see the correlation at first but I do now. Here is my opinion:

white people are going to call us what they want, regardless. But it's not only whites who will use derogatory terms in reference to us. See what people claim in public may not be what they adhere to in private. I understand that, so me attempting to believe that the word will be ablished, even removed from the dictionary, is ubsurd... I have removed the word almost completely from my vocab, the occasional slip happens when referring to someone who really is as the definition states... I'm working on stopping that...

Don Imus just let his real feelings come out, by accident, in public... and couldn't change it or explain it after. he will continue to use terms and phrases like that with his like minded friends and family... his Freudian slip is a hisorical point now... he lost his job and his livlihood because he couldn't control his rant that day... should he have lost his job, sure why not, teach the others a
lesson... lmao t taught nothing people... CBS and MSNBC are trying to keep black listeners and viewers, they had to do something... The FCC is trying to stay inside politically... and Imus is left to apologize... Funny how his apology was preceded by comments such as the phrase he used originated among blacks, he was just using it in the same context we use it... That asshole... Should have said nothing, apologized and ended it, had to try to defend himself, publicly again... Ran his ass into the same fire he was trying to get out of...

this will always be a topic of discussion, the key is changing to focus to what the real problem is... the lack of genuine equality in America... There will never be equality, genuine heart-felt equality, unless people start looking at each other as humans... Every form you fill out ask for your race and or cultural background, simply to make and reach quotas... why cant that crap be left off... I don't fill in the boxs, I haven't since the third grade, when that ish started to click for me. I am "black" so what.. didn't change the score on my state tests did it? I still scored in the 95th percentile of ALL kins in America didn't I?...My color on the outside means nothing...

I am well aware of my history and my legacy... I'm a mutt... and damn proud of it...

The "N" word is an ugly word if you let it continue to be...

Down for the cause...

she was actually asleep... we had to take the picture, figured no one would believe us if we told them she did it...