Damn Damn Damn!!!!!!

I hate when my niceness comes back haunt me... My mom calls me screaming because my aunt didnt tell her that I was bringing her daughter to spend the month at my parents house in Va. My mom knew bits and pieces of a story my aunt told me that she told her the whole thing. So i'm in the middle of their madness and i dont like this bullshit!

WukinHard....

I've been on a steady grind for the lasst couple of weeks... Got my 9-5 work then I come home and do my own projects (screenplays, poems), then work on my biz stuff. 24 hrs in a day arent enough, there is always something else I can do, someone else I can speak too, someone else I can email, another website to check.... I feel like the work will always be there. I'm tired as hell, never get to bed before 1am. I wake up at 7:30ish, but my day is non stop. I want the biz to suceed, I have great expectatons for our success. I see it working, thriving and being around for a while.... so I am diligent in my research and in my efforts for this to work.

I sit back and wonder if I'm working too hard or if I'm not working hard enough. it scares me to think of all the things I could be doing, and have just missed the mark, so I work daily. Putting things together, making phone calls sending emails and doing what ever else needs to done.

Work ethic means a lot to me, mine and others. I maintain mine in almost all I do. Working out is my only downfall as far as work ethic is concerned, but I really dont have the time. i have to start making time.

I need a nap... but if I'm asleep will my big break come and leave me?

Its been a min....

Back on the scene...

Um whats my excuse for not writing... um.... well.... I been busy man!

Nah really I usually write while I'm at work, but my counterpart here in the office is out on medical leave for six weeks and I've had my work load plus hers, so I barely have a moment to chill and clear my thoughts in my blog. So this afternoon I'm taking a min to clear my mind.


So what's happened in the last few weeks...

- Michael got off again.... he needs help

- Saw the Honeymooners, it was a waste of money, time and energy... I want the precious moments I wasted in that theatre back!

- Saw Mr. & Mrs. Smith this movie was good, better than I thought it would be

- Sat in line to see a free concert and never got in

- Had an interview, went really well, one last interview to go and I might be out of this joint

- had a bad experience at a restaurant


that's about it....

Been on chill for a while saving money trying to move, so I havent been doing too much...

Going to see Bilal again Thursday, we'll see if this is in anyway the same as the last show, that was an experience....

Other than that not too much...

WOW!

So the heffer I had beef with @ work has decided to take her dislike for me to a whole new level... it seems she was overheard by a few of my co-workers saying that she wanted to get me fired if its the last thing she does, no matter what! Oh really? Well I walked my happy ass into HR upon hearing this and told them what was going on, and it seems that I have so much proof of excellent work and a stellar work history here that if I were to be fired I could sue the hell out of my company and her. She's been trying to sabotage my work, making things increasingly hard, so much to the point of rearranging someones draw to make it harder for me to find what I was looking for for her. So I did it in an exceptional amount of time and she was pissed. Yeah my mom used be an HR director, so I learned to keep copies of everything at an early age. So I'd like to see her try, cause I'd own her and her house!!!!

Old...

Yes, I feel old. Not just today, or yesterday, I feel old overall. I see kids that I babysat, in high school ready to graduate in a year or two. I see my friends getting married and having kids. I see the people I thought were ancient as a child have died and their kids are now ancient. I have aches and pains from my years of sportsmanship that just come and go as they please. I'm only 24 and it bothers the hell out of me to see young boys with their pants down to their knees and the little girls wearing next to nothing with their mothers standing by and saying nothing or buying that shit for them.

I hate to see the babies in my neighborhood wearing clothes thats too big to make them look more thuggish, more like their daddys. I live near four schools, two middle schools and two elementary schools, and every morning I hear the kids cussing and carrying on, so much to the point I wear head phones blasting gospel music to drown out that nonsense. Why is an 11-12yr old cussing? This totally blows my mind!

Over the holiday weekend the following crimes occured involving children....

- 11yr old in Long Island strangles her mother to death, because the mother asked her to clean her filthy room.

-17 yr old strngles his father to death because the father said no to his son

-9yr old stabs and kills her 11yr old best friend over a ball they found (see previous blog)

-17yr old high school student shoots the attendees of his high school pre grad get together then kills himself

-4yr old shot and killed in accidental shooting, he walked into the line of fire of target practice family and friends were having on the property

I am having a very difficult time digesting this, my mind refuses to wrap itself around theses cases. Its illogical to think that kids are this far gone and that parents are/were that careless in raising them!

I told my mother last night that this kinda stuff makes me not want to have kids. I aint afraid of my kids I'm afraid of everybody else messing with them...