لا توجد نتائج بحث عن

Just some thoughts...

Spent the weekend quelling my music jones... got a lot of old scool joints and some newer favs. My Ipod is at 2102 songs... saddest part I can recite the lyrics, or at least the hooks, to 98% of them... do I really know that many songs?

Monday came too fast for me. I wish it were a long weekend. I actually started to feel alot better, the hacking and spitting is at a minimum. Spent Saturday in the bed. My body is stretching in many places and it hurts in some spots and its just uncomfortable in others.

In recent years I realized that everyone has their own ish to deal with. may not be out in open, but its there. many times its and internal battle that reeks havoc on them daily, but we'd never know it. In the past I always felt like I was the only one going through something all the time. It always seemed just as I tooka step forward I get thrown and have to take ten steps back. Without fail the worst always happened. I kinda just chucked it to God teaching me something, but the issue was i wasn't adhering to the lesson being taught, so He'd do it again and again until I got it. So i would analyze my situation see what it was i was missing. Take the time to really pay attention to the steps taken and not taken. I realized alot of it was my fault. I make rash decisions at times. I don't think things through enough, I just glance over what it is I see as the major issues, rather than looking at the whole picture. So I'm a whole picture kinda person now. I take in everything. I check myself and check other people, I watch body language more, I listen to the remarks that others allow to roll off of their shoulders. I'm not interested in only what is said, I need all five senses working to help me dicifer the real intent of everything and everyone.

Like there's this chick here at work, we were friendly up until three weeks ago when she got uptight about something and accused me of doing something I didn't. I politely wrote a note explaining what had actually happened. but she is too stubborn to either acknowledge that I didn't do what she thought or she just needed to have beef with yet another person. Both have been true for her in the past. People rarely change their MO if they've never been challenged to. So I say nothing. pass everything through her boss. I don't need anymore drama in my life right now. Normally I would have stressed about this and tried to amend it by having a talk with her. But at this point, I see no need. I can't be pulled into other people's need for constant drama. I don't need that in my life. So I wished her well and kept it moving.

Timing is everything they say. That I must say is true. You can think you need or want something, if the timing is off, it wont work in your favor. Having it will be more burdensome than having the need or the want for it. Sometimes you just need things to flow, no interruption, side stepping, skipping, just go the route it was meant to. Be open to the idea that the way you want it may not be the way it needs to be. Sometomes you just have to allow yourself to be lead in the right direction without thinking you have to know the direction from the first step.

Sometimes being by yourself isn't as bad as you think. think of it as an incubation period of sorts. You are growing you, without someone to throw you off. You relearn you, get back to the root of you. I preferred it at times, but my want for affection sometimes clouded the point of my aloneness. But i learned quickly who I really was, got hip to the game. I learned that I was much stronger than I thought. I was much more desireable to others when I was alone. I was much more desirable to myself.


This was just some thoughts for my peeps... its what I would say if we were on the phone, I would have made you laugh a lil though, can't be too serious all the time... luv ya

I NEED Music...

I'm at home layed up... stomach issues...

I been watching several things on tv. Saw the new Jay-z video. It was cute. The song is cute. But music really sucks. If i hear "Chicken Noodle Soup" one more damn time... I'm scheduling my concerts for the winter, I NEED music in my life. I'm supposed to see Algebra on Thursday, and Floetry next week. Then there isn't anything worth spending money on for weeks. But by the time any reelly good concerts come up I'll be too fat/pregnant to attend.

But I seem to find really dope artists on the underground/independent circuit.

I found Anthony David by accident along with my homegirl Jam. Found myself on his website all the time until I got the cd. and i listen to his stuff everday. anthonydavidmusic.com.

Found Algebra on a website that leaks music. she's on myspace and kedar.com

I found Jon Bibbs by dating him in high school...lol... ok that wasn't on the circuit. But we are truly friends, he's a true blue dude. jonbibbs.com and on myspace.com.

Eric Roberson found him by accident, but got introduced to majority of his stuff my peeps. ericrobersonmusic.com

Kia El-Amin, she is the truth, jam found her at an open mic at our spot, Tropical Soul. Jam gave me a cd on one of my trips down to Va. I heard the first six bars and fell in love with her voice. We tried to work together, but it hasn't worked out. She's on myspace.com.

But recently i've discovered Velencia Robinson, she is too dope. Her song "Bye Bye Angel" is just a relaxing soul groove. if you get a moment check her out she's on myspace.com.

Music is dying... Save the music...

Lack of Respect...

It's a very sad day when you lose all hope, trust, and respect in another human being. Well that has come and gone here at work for me. I told my management/directors I trust them as far as I could throw them. they don't respect me, nor do they value my position. To them everyone is replacable, no one is worthy of being here. An older co-worker of mine quit Monday. It was great. Told them to keep the job, he is much too old and paid way too many dues to be treated like a child. YES!!!!

I had another meeting about all the other meetings I've been having with them. This meeting was different to them because it summed up their previous meetings. Crock O ish.... This time they followed it up with an email to I guess make it official. I promptly forwarded it and my response to the email to HR. I said nothing in the meeting because my prick of an assistant director would try to disparage my issues, and dominate the conversation by raising his voice. So the response I sent was to the point and pointed the finger in the right directions...

Work

I been going through a lot lately... hence the lack of posts on the blog...


Basically what's been going is my management/directorial staff is upset that i have been sick and not getting better. I missed five days in two weeks and they began to panic. But I told them that I would take a week off unpaid to get myself well and preserve my remaining sick/vacation days, if they just let me know how to go about it. They took more than a week and by that time I was at the height of being sick. I have no more sick/vacation days left. My director started to panic and got it in the managerial staffs head that i would probably have to be on bed rest for a while, so they all took that as the truth. Really what happened was my doctor called and explained that I would not be returning to work until I could breathe well. My director kept asking what was wrong, my doctor refused to tell her. So last Friday she got so uptight about the convo with the doctor, she decides I'm probably not coming back for a while, gets my other director in the mix and the two of them ransacked my desk looking for what they called "pending work".

I come in on Monday 9/25, still sick as dog, and they present me with a huge stack of paper and ask me to explain what all the papers were, piece by piece. So I had to make them feel stupid, 95% of it was to be thrown away, the rest was filing that i let pile up. then they got on me about some files i put in someone's office and how they found checks in the files. I said that wasn't true because i checked all the files to guarantee there weren't any, but some how someway there were three checks in the files that no one knows where they came from. So they said I shouldn't have put the files in that persons office because things like this happen and I would get the blame for it.

I went to HR on Monday as well. Our rep, which they didn't know I already am cool with her (soror), gave me the explanation of the FMLA leave and that from now all days off will count as that, unpaid of course. Our rep just got switched to our group so she wanted the low down on the goings on. i gave her the good version. Damaging to our bosses, yes very much so, but not the whole story. So she said she is going to implement some changes in the department and make it so my directors report everything to her every month.

It started out as a sinus infection, then an ear infection and seriously inflammed nasal passages. One of the infections got worse and affected the other infection casing me to get worse. And on top of all of this I'm pregnant. And according to my doc that is making it worse, something to do with my extra estrogen and progesterone casing the production od excess mucus in my sinuses. I'm not well still. But I have to come in here, and be a team player.